Mitch Blum

Destroyer of Words

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Entries Tagged as 'Humor'

From the Foodies Fridge: The Best Diet Soda Pairings

January 20th, 2012 · 2 Comments · Boston, Food, Humor

Ever since the foodies took over the world we’ve been besieged with the concept of “food pairings”. Not content with insisting that food is only good when there’s some jizzy foam or liquid nitrogen in it, the foodies are now telling us what we need to drink with different foods.
The whole food pairing movement started [...]

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Handicapping the 2012 NFL Playoffs

January 4th, 2012 · 1 Comment · Humor, Sports

The so-called experts will tell you that picking football games comes down to understanding schemes and match-ups. They’ll break down the magical “coach’s film” to identify tendencies and weaknesses. Then they’ll make their picks and still get more than half of them wrong.
I, on the other hand, am one of the last honest prognosticators in [...]

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Fun with Dreidels on Hanukkah

December 21st, 2011 · 2 Comments · Humor

I’m not going to lie to you, folks: Hanukkah has a hard time keeping up with Christmas. We don’t have any seasonal music (although Jews wrote many of the best Christmas songs). We don’t have any animated specials (well, the Grinch is probably Jewish, but I’m not sure if that really helps).We don’t have any [...]

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Murder by Matlock: A Tale of Revenge

December 16th, 2011 · 1 Comment · Boston, Humor

The last thing I saw was the glint off the metal and then everything went dark…
***
It started, like these things always do, innocently enough. It was a full flight. I didn’t ask for the center seat.  I didn’t want the center seat. I got the center seat anyway. It was one of those big planes [...]

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I Am The Sexiest Man Alive

November 16th, 2011 · No Comments · Humor, Pop Culture

Bradley Cooper was named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2011, ending the under-appreciated reign of last year’s winner Ryan Reynolds.
Now some people might say that Ryan squandered his term, which ultimately resulted in his big summer movie The Green Latern flopping. I take the opposite position and say that The Green Latern flopped precisely [...]

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From the Vault: 2008 Halloween Candy Live Blog!

October 28th, 2011 · 1 Comment · Food, Humor

Well, it’s finally here…the greatest day of the year! As usual, my wife is out trick-or-treating with the kids and I’m home manning the door. The scary music mix is on the stereo and the faux-Rastafarian dreadlocks are on my head. I haven’t eaten any candy yet today so I’m ready for a full night [...]

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The Evolution of the Masshole

October 25th, 2011 · No Comments · Boston, Humor

Oft derided, the noble Masshole is truly one of nature’s greatest creations. In fact, if it wasn’t for Massholes there wouldn’t even be an America. Long live the noble Masshole!

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9 Great Ideas for Filling the Filene’s Hole in Boston

October 11th, 2011 · 3 Comments · Boston, Humor

Once upon a time, before the magic box fixed/ruined everything, people shopped in large stores full of all different kinds of merchandise. The goods were helpfully organized into departments, hence the name “department stores”.
Historically, department store were good for exactly three things: 1) for women to get their makeup done for free before a fancy [...]

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In Defense of (Shitty) American Beer

September 28th, 2011 · 4 Comments · Food, Humor

“Thank you, microbreweries, for making my alcoholism seem like a neat hobby.” – Jimmy Fallon
The fact that there is such a thing as “beer snobs” is both oxymoronic and deeply disturbing.
In the never-ending battle between snobs and slobs, us slobs were fortunate to claim some of the most awesome things that our society has to [...]

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Planning Ahead For My Mug Shot

September 21st, 2011 · No Comments · Humor

Unlike the damn kids of today when I was a youngster we were taught important life skills.
Like how to pose for a picture.
Coquettish half turn, eyes on the lens, no tension, warm smile – these are the techniques that you learn early and have to master before the Bar Mitzvah portrait goes on the wall.
And [...]

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