Mitch Blum

Destroyer of Words

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I’m Glad Shark Week is Over

August 11th, 2011 · Humor, Pop Culture

I’m glad shark week is over because shark week is the stupidest, most boring thing ever and I don’t understand why people get so excited about it.

Once you’ve seen one shark angrily (yet unsuccessfully) attack a diver in a cage you’ve seen all sharks angrily (yet unsuccessfully) attack a diver in a cage. It’s entertaining for about 20 seconds. Unfortunately, shark week lasts a lot longer than 20 seconds. In fact, it lasts a whole week longer than 20 seconds.

What do we learn (or re-learn) each Shark Week?

1) Sharks love blood. Do you know who else loves blood? Vampires. Sexy vampires and their sexy human frenemies on pay cable TV shows. What would you rather watch: boring sharks being taunted or Anna Paquin inexplicably falling in love with a murderous vampire within 3 days – even after her dead grandmother told her not to – just because he’s sexy and has amnesia? Exactly.

2) Sharks have a lot of pointy teeth. You know who else has pointy teeth? Those crazy people who get the snake tattoos all over their bodies and split their tongues and file their teeth into points. Those people are awesome. I will watch them on basic cable anytime. My only question is: why are the fake snake people always British? And my other only question is: why the fuck are you trying to turn yourself into a snake? It looks stupid, it’s expensive, it’s painful and you still don’t actually look like a snake. You just look like a person with scale tattoos, a broken tongue and pointy teeth. Talk about bad life decisions. That said, Human Snake Guy Week still sounds way more appealing than Shark Week.

3) People that taunt sharks on TV are jerks and deserve to get eaten. Didn’t we learn anything from the sad Steve Irwin (man taunts animals for a living, one day man get poisonous stinger in heart and dies) incident?

Seriously, what did sharks ever do to anyone to deserve such treatment? Kill lots of people, you say? Well let’s debate this all legal-like. You be the prosecutor and I’ll be the shark defense lawyer:

Prosecution: Sharks are murderous creatures and deserve whatever they get. They’re killing machines by nature and cannot be rehabilitated or integrated into polite society.

Defense: Sharks rule the kingdom of the sea. Humans enter the sea at their own peril.

Prosecution: But you attack people at the beach all the time!

Defense: Humans can have the beach, but once you enter the water, you’re fair game.

Prosecution: But that’s not fair! Humans like swimming at the beach.

Defense: No, what’s not fair is fat 50 year old men in Hawaiian shirts making shark fins on their heads at Jimmy Buffett concerts. Those men deserve to die.

Prosecution: Agreed. Case closed.

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In Defense of Scrappy Doo

August 2nd, 2011 · Humor, Pop Culture

I have a confession to make.

I know that you’re not going to like this, but I need to get it off my chest: I hate Scooby Doo. I honestly believe that Scooby Doo (both the dog and the show) is the worst popular cartoon in existence. The mysteries are stupid. The characters are boring. It’s not even slightly funny, hence the need for a laugh track. I can’t fathom why people like the show. I really can’t fathom why I married someone who likes the show.

I have a worse confession to make.

I know that you’re really not going to like this, but I’m tired of living a lie: I love Scrappy Doo. He is, by far, the best and most interesting character in the Scooby Doo universe. I don’t understand why people dislike him.

Actually, I do know why people hate Scrappy Doo. They think that he’s the “Cousin Oliver” of Scooby Doo and his carefully calculated addition to the cast ruined the show. Counter-point: Unlike pre-Oliver Brady Bunch, Scooby Doo was already a terrible show and the addition of Scrappy made the show marginally better. Rather than thinking of him as a Cousin Oliver type, I prefer to think of him as a (less-gay) Steve Perry type, who saved a floundering Journey and drove them to their greatest artistic achievements.

Things I like about Scrappy Doo:

1) He’s not an addict. Unlike the two cowards Scooby and Shaggy, Scrappy doesn’t need the promise of a quick hit to solve a mystery or enter a foreboding locale. Scrappy is tough without the junk.

2) He’s a bad ass. Scrappy brings the ruckus. He’s neither afraid of supernatural creatures nor handymen that dress up as supernatural creatures. Scrappy will kick your ass without thinking twice. One of his catchphrases is: “Lemme at ‘em! I’ll splat ‘em!” No equivocation there: Scrappy is always ready to rumble and he’s confident that he’s going to win.

3) He’s an empowering role model for children. Even as the smallest member of the Mystery, Inc. gang he’s still the strongest, the bravest and the second smartest (behind Velma). Most important of all, he teaches our children the valuable life lesson that all of your problems can be solved through violence.

4) He’s got great catchphrases. In addition to the aforementioned “Lemme at ‘em! I’ll splat ‘em!” Scrappy is perhaps best known for his rousing battle cry “Ta dadada ta daaa! Puppy power!” Compare that to Scooby’s pathetic “Rut-Roh!” or Velma’s “Jinkies!” Actually, don’t compare them because Scrappy’s catchphrases are awesome and the rest are terrible.

5) I went to college with a guy named Scrappy. He was a good guy and we had some fun times together, although apparently not enough fun times for me to remember his real name. And he might have been an addict. But I’m not here to judge.

So there you have it. Scrappy Doo = Real. American. Hero.

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What Your Train Says About You (Boston Edition)

July 22nd, 2011 · Humor

As an amateur phrenologist I can tell a lot about you just by analyzing your skull. Oh sure, you can wear a hat in a futile attempt to throw me off the scent but I have other methods, too.

The bottom line is that I don’t need to know you to really know you. When you’ve been in the human-watching game as long as I have, you pick up a few tricks along the way.

For example, I could probably write a book about you (or at least a modestly priced e-book) just by studying what time train you take to work in the morning.

“Whaaaaat?” you inquire nervously, “you follow strangers around just to see what time train they take? That’s creepy.”

“Of course not,” I reply defensively, “I only stalk strangers on the Newbury/Rockport line in Boston. I have associates that handle other territories.”

What Your Train Says About You

You Take a Train in the 5 o’clock (a.m.) hour:

You wear an old suit. You carry your belongings in a bindle. Your favorite food is mulligan stew. You will burglar if necessary, but you avoid violence whenever possible. You are respectful to women and children but definitely not to Johnny Lawman. Your favorite drink is tokay wine. Your drug of choice is opium. You are, obviously, a hobo, because no regular person takes a train before 6 in the morning.

You Take a Train in the 6 o’clock (a.m.) hour:

You wear a custom-tailored suit. You read the Wall Street Journal or the Financial Times. You have a large diamond in your pinky ring. You are still peeved that the nanny’s quarters are too close to the kitchen in the house you rented in Newport. You are nervous that your wife will find out that you got the nanny pregnant, but then you tell yourself that captains of industry just weren’t meant to be monogamous.

You Take a Train in the 7 o’clock (a.m.) hour:

You wear business casual clothes to work. You have already consumed 6 cups of coffee. You are feverishly typing e-mails while yelling at people on the phone. You are late for a meeting, actually 2 meetings, because you are always double booked. You are peeved because someone had the nerve to plop down in the middle seat next to you. You can actually feel your arteries clogging from all of the stress and kind of hope for a heart attack just so you can get a few days off. (Helpful tip: slackers should avoid the 7 o’clock train at all costs.)

You Take a Train in the 8 o’clock (a.m.) hour:

You wear jeans or shorts to work. You are sweating from running late for your train, even though you’re not getting to work until 9:30-ish anyway. You are still a little hung-over from last night. You are playing one of your kid’s games on your ipod. You forgot your wallet again and have to give a sob story to the conductor. You’re living the American dream! (Helpful tip: slackers are always welcome on the 8 o’clock train.)

You Take a Train in the 9 o’clock (a.m.) hour:

You are wearing pyjamas and pretending that they are sweatpants. You are drinking peppermint schnapps out of your travel mug and pretending that it’s coffee. You are reading ads looking for medical experiment volunteers and pretending that you have lupus. You are considering eating the half of bagel that you found on the floor. Oh, who are you kidding? You know that you’re going to eat the bagel. Trains aren’t that dirty.

Weird, huh? It’s like looking in a mirror! Next week: something else.

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Oh yeah, I also wrote this thing you might like: Riding the Rails, Boston-style.

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Stop Breaking Down: What the Cars on “Breaking Bad” Tell Us About the True Nature of the Characters

July 14th, 2011 · Humor, Pop Culture

Let’s be frank. I am not a big car guy, by which I mean that I have no interest in cars of any kind.  I drive infrequently, which is probably a good thing because I’m a terrible driver. Have you heard bad things about Boston drivers? That’s my fault.  I have no idea how cars work (something to do with fire, gas and accelerometers) and I’m scared of auto mechanics and their giant drooly guard dogs.

I am, however, a big television person. Unlike you with your one sad little TV, I own FOUR televisions, including one 42″ flat screen beauty and not including the old Tandy model in the attic. So, yeah, I’m kind of a TV expert (although I must confess that I have no idea how they work – something to do with tubes and accelerometers).

I enjoy many programs on television, but none more so than prestige cable dramas like Breaking Bad.  Now Breaking Bad is probably the greatest show in the history of television for many reasons (e.g. writing, acting, cinematography, sound design), none of which include my love for delicious, tasty meth. I get all a-twitchy just thinking about all of that blue sky meth*!

(* Legal note: I have no idea what meth is, but I do like Sudafed.)

Recently, while obsessively watching Breaking Bad, I realized something important. I’d go so far as to say that I’ve figured out all of Vince Gilligan’s secrets and I now know everything there is to know about the show. So what’s the big discovery?

THE CARS THAT PEOPLE DRIVE ON BREAKING BAD REVEAL THEIR TRUE NATURE

Let’s get to it with the major characters:

WALTER WHITE famously drives a Pontiac Aztek with an oft-smashed windshield. The Aztek is a car entirely about exterior image – a shitty car in an inauthentic wrapper that was meant to re-position Pontiac as a hip brand for Gen Xers. Walt’s life was all about maintaining an image of a mild-mannered school teacher while repressing his inner rage (the Heisenberg persona). The cracked windshield represents Walt’s inability to keep his true self hidden under his exterior image.

JESSE PINKMAN goes from driving a Monte Carlo to driving a Toyota. Again, this is no accident. When we first meet Jesse he is playing at being a ‘bad guy’, so he drives a Monte Carlo, the official car of 20-something bad boys in AC/DC shirts that creep around high school parking lots looking for underage girls. Ultimately Jesse accepts that he’s not really a bad guy (regardless of what he says) and he gets a dependable, boring family sedan – a Toyota – because all that Jesse really wants is to love and be loved. He craves a normal, dependable, suburban family life.

HANK SCHRADER drives a late-model Jeep. Jeeps are macho sporty cars for adventurous people who don’t like doors or roofs (but love Dave Matthews). Hank is the moral center of the Breaking Bad universe – a solid guy with a solid car. But Hank’s Jeep does have doors and a roof, because we all know that Hank is not really as macho as he seems, suffering from PTSD and anxiety.

SKYLER WHITE also drives a Jeep, but it’s an old junky model. It’s no accident that Skyler and Hank drive variations of the same car. That’s because we initially see Skyler as a paragon of virtue (like Hank) but we ultimately come to realize that she’s bad. Bad, I tell you! (She was even mean to Sherriff Seth Bullock, and he’s just dreamy.)

GUS FRING obviously drives a Volvo because he is a cautious man, and Volvos represent safety. Plus, they have large cup holders for Los Pollos Hermanos take-out.

MIKE THE CLEANER drives a classic old man American car – probably a Lincoln – because he represents old American power and dependability, just like when Lincolns, Caddys and Buicks ruled the automotive world.

I could keep going with the minor characters (MARIE SCHRADER drives a new VW Beetle because she’s a flake; TED BENEKE drives a BMW because he’s a cheating, embezzling asshole, etc.) but I think you get the idea: the cars on Breaking Bad matter.

UPDATE: Now that WALTER JUNIOR has turned 16 he’s finally gotten his car. Well, two cars actually. The first car was a Dodge Challenger, courtesy of Walter Senior. Senior, in one of his now-patented “bad decisions spurred by a bruised ego” impulsively bought a modern muscle car to prove that he can control his own destiny. This is a manifestation of Walter Senior’s desire for power and recognition in a season where he’s seriously lost his mojo. After Skyler made Walter return the car (with a little help from Mr. Fire), Skyler buys Walter Junior a Chrysler PT Cruiser. The PT Cruiser does a nice job of illustrating Skyler’s two overriding character traits: cautiousness and obliviousness. Skyler is an extremely intelligent woman that refuses to accept some obvious facts: 1) the drug trade is violent by definition; 2) Senior can’t get out even if he wanted to; and 3) PT Cruisers – even with CD players – aren’t cool.

Please note that we don’t really learn anything about Walter Junior through these cars, aside from the confirmation that he likes pancakes.

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WBMYNQAY2KMU

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In My Time of Dining

July 1st, 2011 · Humor

When celebrating my victories on the field of business, I do like so many other super-premium executives that have come before me: I lay claim to a table at the O’Hare Chili’s and avail myself of their many delicacies.

Ironically, I never eat chili at Chili’s for the simple reason that chili is terrible. The only reason that anyone eats chili is because it has a cool name (for a hot dish!) If I said “hey, want some bean stew?” you would probably punch me in the face and I would painfully concede that you were right to do so. I do like their beer, unless I am still coming down from watching Rock Candy play Lady Gaga covers at the Cubby Bear following the previous night’s Cubs game. Now, no offense to Rock Candy who ably played Born This Way, but I am highly disappointed in the people of Chicago for enjoying it so thoroughly. I was under the impression that Chicago was a city that treasured good music and tried to keep the old traditions alive, but apparently they like the same crap that everyone else does.

Passing on the beer I helped myself to Chili’s fine selection of soft drinks and naturally chose Coke Zero, which is apparently the boy version of Diet Coke. Why boys get to drink delicious sucralose while girls are stuck with stinky old aspartame is beyond me, but it is obviously some kind of corporate sexism/mind control experiment.

The only bad thing about eating at the O’Hare Chili’s is that the tiny tables are so close together that you feel like you’re dining family-style, except that every third relative has been replaced by a black wheely bag.  I was immediately apprehensive about my seat because I was next to a lady that had a baby. Obviously babies are too stupid to enjoy the many fine foods at Chili’s and they shouldn’t even be sitting there because they don’t have any business successes to celebrate. But imagine my surprise when the baby turned out to be a perfectly lovely lunch mate and the real trouble was on my left, in the form of a horrible business couple.

There’s nothing worse than a horrible business couple because all they talk about is their stupid jobs and complain about co-workers who aren’t lucky enough to be at Chili’s. The only time business couples are good company is if they’re: 1) having an affair with each other; or 2) running a drug cartel, because then I can pretend that I’m watching an uglified version of Mad Men or Breaking Bad.

Over the years I have noticed that horrible business couples at Chili’s will always do the following things, and Tammy and the silver-haired guy with the unironic moustache hit all of the marks:

1) Someone will take a phone call at the table, which is rude because now I have to listen to half of a boring business conversation. (Tammy)

2) Someone will choke on their Chili’s food and try to act cool about it by saying “I wasn’t choking, it was just my gag reflex”, which, by the way, is way more disgusting than just choking. (Tammy)

3) Someone will reveal themselves to be a stupid Republican* by yammering on about Obammer and extolling the virtues of Ron Paul and Donald Trump while trying to pass themselves off as being reasonable by saying that they wouldn’t vote for Sarah Palin. (Tammy)

(*Please note that I’m not saying that all Republicans are stupid. Obviously rich people need a political party to help them hoard their money. I’m just saying that non-wealthy Republicans are stupid.)

4) Someone will explain the Iowa caucus system in such explicit detail that I’d desperately wish that they started trashing Pam in HR again. (silver-haired guy with the unironic moustache, damn you, I had such hope for you, too.)

5) Someone will throw a pack of saltines at another table, miss the table and not think twice about it landing on the floor while the waiter and I exchange “did that just really happen?” looks with each other. (Tammy, obviously.)

6) Someone will start bragging about going to the fancy schmancy Admiral’s Club (which, incidentally password protects their wifi so I can’t steal their bandwidth, thanks for nothing) after paying the check at Chili’s. (fuck you Tammy, you elitist scum.)

Needless to say, none of this should dissuade you from enjoying a delicious celebratory meal at the O’Hare Chili’s, but if given the choice opt for the seat near the baby instead of one next to Tammy and the silver-haired guy with the unironic moustache.

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Summer Television Viewing Guide

June 17th, 2011 · Pop Culture

Alright already! I’m tired of all of you people on the street asking me what I’m watching on TV these days. Here’s my official Summer Television Viewing Guide:

Men of a Certain Age (TNT): Before this show started I couldn’t get over Scott Bakula’s ridiculous hair in the promos. Bakula’s hair is still ridiculous, but the show is definitely not. It’s one of the smartest, best written shows on TV. The leads are terrific and it’s funnier than most sitcoms and more touching than most dramas.

Game of Thrones (HBO): After a few episodes of table setting, this series really took off. It’s kind of like Lord of the Rings crossed with a softcore porn version of Lord of the Rings. And I’m officially on the record as rooting for the Lannisters, as the Starks are way too stupid to run a (sexy) kingdom.

Futurama (Comedy): Sure, Futurama 3.0 isn’t as good as the original run, but it’s still funnier than most things in the world. Plus, if you view the entire series as the ongoing adventures of Dr. John A. Zoidberg, the show takes on an epic, almost Gilgameshian quality.

Next Food Network Star (Food): I don’t understand shows like this. The whole point is to find people that are comfortable being on camera, and yet half of the contestants are horribly nervous when filming their screen tests. Don’t they have auditions? Anyway, I’m watching it, even though I don’t really like it all that much. I like to play a game at home where I have to deliver a 60 second rap about my pizza stylings as if I was on the show. So far I’m winning.

Coming soon…

True Blood (HBO): True Blood is proof that good acting isn’t required to make a good show. Featuring some of the worst Louisiana accents since Gambit joined the X-Men, True Blood excels at delivering great cliff-hangers every week, along with some fun, cartoonish villains.

Breaking Bad (AMC): Season 4 can’t start soon enough. Breaking Bad is probably the best TV show ever (yes, including The Wire) and proof that great acting can make a show great. Breaking Bad is brilliantly written and beautifully shot. Even the sound design is notably wonderful. Somehow they manage to keep the tension high every week. Flash backs, flash forwards, inventive cold opens, even the episode titles are genius.

Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO): I never realized that most people root against Larry when watching the show, I’ve always viewed him as the hero. Sure, he’s a smidge obnoxious, but he’s always right and he’s always hilarious. Plus, Leon. ‘nuff said.

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Recommendation: Teargarden by Kaleidyscope

March 24th, 2011 · Music, Podcast

When I sit at the fireplace, dog at my feet, glass of brandy in hand, and reflect upon alternative rock of the 1990s (as I often do), I am struck by the realization that the Smashing Pumpkins are the band that I loved most all those years ago whose music still holds up to this day. Their three album run of Gish, Siamese Dream and Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (plus all of the b-sides) represent exactly what I loved about the music of the era.

I’m not sure whether it’s the layered guitars, the tortured vocals, the psychedelic atmospherics or the epic cheesiness that hooked me, but if anyone says they don’t like the Pumpkins, well, like a true slacker I’ll do absolutely nothing about it.

It’s been a tough decade for Pumpkins fans as the last few Billy Corgan projects haven’t fully reached the heights of the early ‘90s Pumpkins peak. So it gives me great pleasure to recommend some new Pumpkins music for all of you to enjoy. Billy’s latest project is called “Teargarden by Kaleidyscope”, which is a 44 song cycle being released one tune at a time. The best part is that each tune is released for free at smashingpumpkins.com. The latest tune (#9), “Lightening Strikes”, just came out this week.

So this week I recommend that you shave your head, pull out the old zero tee shirt and download some new Pumpkins.

Recommendation originally delivered in Episode #42 of the Steve Gorman Sports podcast on 3/24/11.

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Concert Review: Furthur in Boston, MA on 3/4/11

March 6th, 2011 · Music

Concert Review:

Furthur
March 4, 2011
Orpheum Theatre
Boston, MA

(You can listen to the show here. Thanks tapers!)

The first Grateful Dead bootleg I ever received was a 1972 practice jam with no set list. At the time I didn’t know much about the Dead beyond the well-established fact that deadheads were considered the worst thing in the history the everything. Prior to receiving that tape the Dead seemed to me more of a concept than a band. I liked the idea of the Dead, of the counter-culture, of the traveling circus, but I didn’t understand the Dead as a band, as musicians, as explorers.

That tape changed everything. Listening to it I had no idea what song was being played or what would come next. The unpredictability was thrilling. Not only did I not know what songs were being played, I didn’t even know what type of music would be coming up next. It was all a mystery, being in the dark, and it was a fitting introduction to the music and the ethos of the Grateful Dead.

Eventually I pieced together what the set list was, and songs like Promised Land, Brown-Eyed Women and Bird Song opened my ears and my mind to a style of music that couldn’t be easily classified. It was psychedelic blues rock with both country and jazz elements. It featured a lead guitar that was unique, delicate and fluid. The rhythm section was driven by an over-powering bass and tribal beats. The sometimes lead vocalist seemed perfectly out of place, bringing an unexpected rock star front-man vibe to the proceedings. And yet it all worked together beautifully well. It was an amalgamation of different musical styles and different personalities resulting in something far greater than the individual pieces. It was in every sense “American” music.

So defined my early impression of the Grateful Dead: unpredictability and a blend of disparate elements (both musical and individual) that improbably work together.

In the 15 years since Jerry left us we’ve seen a lot of iterations of the Grateful Dead, some of them very successful (The Other Ones in 2002), some of them less so (The Dead in 2009). But it seemed like two things had changed forever: first, no one would ever try to fill the “Jerry spot” and secondly, Phil and Bob would chase their own vision of the Dead sound separately (Phil hewing early psychedelic blues, Bob chasing jazzy rock and acoustic cowboys songs). Even when the core four played together again as The Dead in ‘03, ‘04 and ‘09 they brought on people like Warren Haynes or Joan Osborne to fill Jerry’s spot on stage but not his space in the music.

All this changed when John Kadlecik was brought up from AAA (he played Jerry in the accomplished Dead cover band Dark Star Orchestra) and for the first time Phil and Bobby attempted to recreate the sound of the good ol’ Grateful Dead (you can read my review of the Manchester, NH show here). And while it’s sad that Billy Kreutzmann and Mickey Hart aren’t around for the trip, there’s no way to overstate what John brings to the table. Make no mistake: John Kadlecik is the key to Furthur.

Whether John is merely inspired by Jerry or is channeling his spirit is immaterial. The sound of his guitar and his voice is eerie and spot on. He so thoroughly inhabits Jerry’s musical space that you sometimes forget who’s on stage. There are moments where John transports you to “that place”, after we all thought it could never happen again.

Friday’s night show at the Orpheum in Boston was the first night of a three show run in Boston, and the first show of this leg of the tour. The call was made for the traditional Feel Like a Stranger opener, which would come, but only after an unexpected Come Together. Drummer Joe Russo showed that he could ably fill the Rhythm Devils’ shoes with his perfect fills on Stranger. Things then kicked into high-gear with a double shot of Alabama Getaway and Promised Land, with John, and then Bobby, setting the pace for an upbeat night. Next up was the best non-Jerry Althea I’ve ever heard, John just absolutely nailing it. Phil stepped up to the mic for a great Fennario, one of the songs that I actually prefer a Phil vocal on. Then they dipped way back for a trippy Cream Puff War that transitioned into a deliciously cheesy Good Lovin’. Bobby then cued a Come Together reprise mashed into Good Lovin’ before finishing up the set.

What made the first set so impressive, aside from the lack of rust, was just how unpredictable the song choices were. Starting with Come Together, there was no way to predict what was coming next. All of the familiar runs and song patterns seemed to have been thrown out the window. The mystery was back.

The second set would prove itself to be a deadheads dream set, with lots of crowd favorites surfacing. Things kicked off with a nice The Music Never Stopped and then the crowed exploded with a great Wheel. Up next came a very solid Uncle John’s Band>Playin’ in the Band run, which then culminated in a very unexpected and greatly appreciated Crazy Fingers. Next up was a stellar The Other One which set up the highlight of the night (which is saying a lot in a night full of highlights) – a gorgeous Morning Dew. I was already completely sated at that point, so I almost couldn’t believe that they would drop a Help on the Way>Slipknot!>Franklin’s Tower on us (the Slipknot! Was insanely good, by the way). It (almost) felt greedy getting so many nuggets in one set. After the donor rap, things finished up with a fun Golden Road. It was perhaps the greatest, most deadhead-friendly, epic set of recent memory.

This is a band playing at such a high level it’s hard to believe that it’s happening at this late hour in the history of the Dead. Jeff Chimenti is probably the best keyboard player on the planet right now (excepting Bruce Hornsby, of course, who resides upon Mount Olympus and cannot be compared to mere mortals) and I’m not sure whether I prefer his B3 or piano playing. He consistently killed it on so many tunes that it’s nigh impossible to pick stand-outs. (Okay, his playing on Althea was a big highlight.) Joe Russo provided a steady beat as well as great fills on the drums, Phil Lesh and Bobby Weir are both playing and singing at a consistently high level and then there’s John Kadlecik, the heart of Furthur.

Needless to say, this was an outstanding show by an incredible band. If you’re already on the bus, sit back and enjoy the ride. If you ever got off the bus, it’s time to get back on – we’ll pick you up at the next stop, destination unknown.

Set List:

Come Together
Feel Like a Stranger
Alabama Getaway>
Promised Land
Althea
Peggy-O
Cream Puff War>
Good Lovin’>
Come Together Reprise>
Good Lovin’

Set 2:

Music Never Stopped>
The Wheel>
Uncle John’s Band>
Playin’ in the Band>
Crazy Fingers>
Other One>
Morning Dew>
Help on the Way>
Slipknot>
Franklin’s Tower
**Donor Rap**
E: Golden Road

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If you liked this review, you can find many more music reviews, essays, lists and podcasts here. Also, please check out the Steve Gorman Sports! podcast, our hilarious weekly podcast about sports, music and pop culture, featuring Steve Gorman of The Black Crowes, and lots of great celebrity guests.

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The State of the Professional Sports Union

January 27th, 2011 · Humor, Podcast, Sports

Friends, Americans, fellow podcasters, it is with great pride and humilty – let’s call it primility – that I deliver the 2011 state of the professional sports union address.

The state of professional sports in America is strong….ly concerning.

Our greatest sport, American football, is under the dual threat of head injuries and a potential lock-out.  Even worse, legendary Patriots quarterback Tom Brady seems incapable of winning in the post-season anymore. I fear that he is suffering from the Curse the Babe-ino. What self-respecting Bostonian would dump a beautiful Irish lass like Bridget Moynahan for a dime-a-dozen supermodel? Tom, please come to your senses, divorce Gisele, get back together with Bridget – who just happens to be the star of America’s #1 new drama, Blue Bloods – and win another Super Bowl.

The NBA is currently enjoying one of its greatest regular seasons in recent memory. But once again, greed and avarice threaten to shut down our favorite winter sport after this season. Even worse, NBA fandom has sunk to such a low that alleged dream teams in Miami have to teach their fans how to show up on time and root for their team. It’s an embarrassment.

The other great winter sport, hockey, still suffers from over-expansion. I propose that this year we finally merge the NHL with NASCAR, and split them along geographical lines.  I call it the Pancake-Waffle line, with stock car racing exclusively in cities with a Waffle House and ice hockey in cities with a Bickfords.

Sadly, the nerds continue to ruin baseball, with their spreadsheets and their VORP and their stupid math. Let’s be honest here, America only has the attention span to follow one event that runs for 4 hours a day 6 days a week – and that event is Dancing with the Stars.

In closing, the only thing we really learned this past year, after watching the World Cup, is that soccer is truly the boringest sport known to man. If I wanted to watch some Greasy Europeans running in circles and kicking each other in the shins I’d just buy tickets to Riverdance.

And yes, I wish I had a more timely reference for that joke than Riverdance, but I don’t.

Thank you.

(Speech originally delivered on episode #34 of the Steve Gorman Sports podcast)

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My Interview with Black Crowes Drummer Steve Gorman

July 29th, 2010 · Music

My life as an obsessive music fan started early.  The first records that I can remember buying with “my own” money (a.k.a. allowance/gift money) were the 45 of Stevie Wonder’s hit single Master Blaster (Jammin’) and the LP of KISS’s Rock and Roll Over. The summer of 1980 was a big year for me.  For my 9th birthday I received Pink Floyd’s The Wall, Tom Petty’s Damn the Torpedoes and the epic double album soundtrack to the Village People’s Can’t Stop the Music (starring Bruce Jenner).

Okay, I might not have had the best taste in the world, but I had passion.  Over the years my passion for music has never diminished, although my taste has settled into blues- and country- based rock that sounds like it comes from 1972.  It’s not surprising, therefore, that my favorite band over the last 20 years has been The Black Crowes.  To my ears, The Black Crowes are one of the few remaining bands that plays new music that sounds like it comes from the heyday of guitar rock.  They are the torchbearers of a dying tradition.  And while the flame of rock and roll has been diminished, it hasn’t been extinguished – and it never will as long as bands like the Crowes keep on keepin’ on.

Life twists and turns in unexpected directions and in the last year I’ve found myself working with the drummer of The Black Crowes, Steve Gorman, on a sports and pop culture podcast.  With the Crowes about to celebrate their 20th anniversary with a new double album, Croweology, that features acoustic versions of 20 of their classic songs, I asked Steve if I could interview him on the podcast about the new album, the last 20 years of music and a lifetime in rock and roll.

If you have a passion for music (especially if you love rock and roll and The Black Crowes) I think you’ll really enjoy this conversation.  Please let me know if you do.  Thanks.

Click to listen: SGS! Episode #15

Please consider checking out the Steve Gorman Sports! website (where you’ll find podcasts and more), subscribing to the show on iTunes, and joining our facebook community.

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